every moment i laughed, yearning, as life’s missteps allowed

Hey guys — welcome to my blog, my thoughts, my musings.

In case you didn’t catch it, the title of this post, and subsequently the meaning behind my blog, is a play on my name:

Every Moment I Laughed, Yearning, ALife’s Missteps Allowed.

Yes, my life is full of missteps — but at each misstep, and throughout all of life, I can laugh: laugh at myself, at a given situation, at the peculiarities that life throws at me. And I yearn for more: for growth, for change, for laughter. Because these missteps happen throughout all of life. I stumble. I fall. I mess up. And I laugh at myself. For what is life without laughter? Deep down belly laughs are some of life’s best medicine.

Hi. My name is Emily. I’m 29-years-old and live a quick walk away from a sandy beach and a golden sunset on Lake Michigan in the southwest corner of the glorious mitten state.

I’m a social worker, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, girlfriend, Christian, have bipolar disorder, victim of rape. But there’s so much more to me than labels. I’ve had a blog since 2007, but this blog is a new chapter for me. On the outside, nothing has really changed, yet every day is a new day, so why not today be a day to start fresh?

What better way to start fresh than by pondering the past, reflecting on it, learning from it, and taking those lessons into today? I sit here wrapped in blankets snuggled next to my love and reflect on where I’ve been in life, the paths I’ve walked.

This past spring, I recorded a video of my testimony to be shared with my church. It’s the first time I went public with my story of my bipolar journey and my experience of rape. It tells only snippets of the strength that my God, my family, and my friends provided, but also of the growth and change that I went through because of those experiences. I am a different and stronger woman because of where I’ve been. And that’s not to say that I wish bipolar disorder or the torment of rape on anyone, but I would not be who I am today without the journey I’ve walked and battles I’ve fought, both external and internal.

I invite you, now, to spend a few minutes understanding a bit of where I’ve been through my testimony.

My life is full of missteps, whether forced by chemical imbalances, by the hand of a perpetrator, or any other situation brought on by circumstance and even choice. However, I choose to laugh and find joy.

I’m also reminded of James who so wisely tells us in chapter one verses two through three:

Yeah, life can be tough. Life can be full of trials and missteps and hard times. But I choose to laugh and find joy because I know that there can be great benefits and growth from those trials and missteps, and then eventual laughter and joy. So, thank you for stopping by. I hope you come by again and continue to walk with me on life’s journey. Until then, love to you my friends.


emily alma